Sci-fi author Will Shetterly asked the question “What happens when copyrights last forever minus a day?,” and came back with this absurd (yet frighteningly relevant) story.

Then Kurosh Jadali’s DNA proved he was the primary descendent of Zarathushtra, whose teachings about monotheism had been adopted by the Jews during the Babylonian Captivity. Kurosh said that since Zoroaster had taught religious tolerance, he would be glad to let the Jews use their sacred texts. In return, he only wanted a thousand Euros for each Torah that was published and three-fourths of any money that flowed through a synagogue. When the rabbis grumbled, Kurosh asked if they were communists who didn’t respect intellectual property.

So all of the branches of Judaism sent delegates to Disney, begging them to roll back the period of copyright so that Zarathushtra’s teachings would be in the public domain. But Disney had picked up the rights to the Epic of Gilgamesh, which looked like a great vehicle for Jim Carrey, so they made a counteroffer.

Read it.

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